JUDGEMENT AND SELF WORTH

 

Ever wonder why we care so much about what others think of us? Judgement. The act or process of forming an opinion or making a decision : "The act of judging something or someone."

We have a built in perception on what, how and why things are supposed to be. We form our opinions and beliefs. We subconsciously see others through these lenses. Since we naturally form our perceptions on other people, we then would also imagine how others would see us. We too judge our own self. Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. This is a natural part of human nature. It’s about recognising our own judgments - tracing them back to their ‘roots’ - whether they come from a place of ‘good intention’ or ‘bad intention.’

There’s nothing wrong with self assessment. Self-love is a good thing, but self-awareness is more important. Recognising we all have flaws (no one is perfect), and finding areas to improve, and striving to take actions to better ourselves - are all part of self growth for success. This is good intention. But often the noises in the world overcloud our judgements. They take over and influence our thought patterns. This is when we might fall into the trap of forming negative perception towards ourselves and others. This is a negative process with bad intention.

A common example is self comparison with others that serve no value or purpose for growth. Common scenario is we form an opinion that we don’t measure up to other people’s expectations. Or we don’t feel good enough. Or we feel small and unworthy. We may feel resentful or envious. Left unchecked, it is simply a waste of our time and denying ourselves the potential to live our life with true “joy”.

Value yourself and accept that we are here for a purpose. Focus on your own talents because the gifts we are born with is not given to everyone. We don’t need to look outside ourselves to validate or invalidate this.

When we stop comparing ourselves to others, looking for approval, and chasing the next level of success, we can slow down and focus on what’s important and meaningful. 

Other example is the way we imagine how other people ‘“see” us. The story we creates in our mind becomes the negative perception towards ourselves - which is unproductive for our emotional and mental wellbeing.

“Have you ever wondered that maybe the way you think other people see you is really the way you see yourself? How do you see yourself?” 

Know that there is no greater threat to your long-term wellness and stability than imagining that someone else has the key to your self-acceptance. There is no greater negative outcome of your life than trying to convince everyone to like you. Your self confidence should not be dictated by what others perceived of you. Why tie your joy to the approval of others? It only empowers them and steals your peace and independence. 

Nothing in this world is permanent and that is why the relationship we have with ourselves is the most important. We are only in control of ourselves. We are the master of our own craft and we are free to choose our own path. We can’t control what others think of us, what they will do to us, or what the future holds. Yes we can most certainly change our environment. But ultimately, only by being free from judgement of others, we can truly experience freedom and inner peace. They will stay with you wherever you go, regardless of the environment.

When we find at the other spectrum of judgement from others, remember...

1. We should stop taking everything so personally. When people judge, it may come from a wounded place. Their own struggle or battle rise to the surface and their words or actions may end up hurting others unintentionally. 

2. We should especially stop taking other people’s opinions so personally. If we are honest with ourselves, we know how we are doing in life. We know whether or not we’re on track. We don’t need to look 'outside' ourselves to validate or invalidate this. It’s easy to neglect our own self-improvement when we are infatuated with others’ approval. 

Authenticity is all about being your true self - the real you is the best you. The only person you compete with is yourself. This process of aligning with that authenticity will give rise to the positive identity you want. 

“ I AM SOMEBODY. I AM ME. I LIKE BEING ME. AND I NEED NOBODY TO MAKE ME SOMEBODY!"    Amen!! 🙏🙏

Wishing you all the courage to stand up and be proud of who you are ❤️